Area man struggles to keep up with energetic theater conversation

By: Diana Mendoza

CHARLOTTE, NC- On a first date at a local café on Sunday evening, Jared Swanson, 26, struggled to keep up with an enthusiastic conversation about theater with his date.

According to eyewitnesses, she just started listing every milestone in her life that led her to acting, then describing, in detail, every single live show she had ever seen. She then reportedly told Swanson to take out a pen to write them all down so he could see them later.
“She was just so into it”, Swanson later said in an interview, “I had no clue what she was talking about”.

Indeed, fellow café goers reported overhearing excited relays of shows such as “Wicked” and “Universal Theater” (proclaiming that you haven’t lived until you’ve seen it) while Swanson vehemently nodded his head and laughed in all the right places.

“I almost thought that she was going to catch on when she asked me what some of my favorite shows were”, Swanson confessed, “but luckily I distracted her with a follow up question about her favorite movies”. Upon doing so, the theater lover reportedly dived into a fresh conversation about her love for romantic comedies and happy endings, peppering in comments such as “I can’t believe you haven’t seen that one!” and “you’ve got to watch it”.

After the date, Swanson reportedly googled “top theater shows” in his car in the café parking lot, but after 5 minutes of distracted tapping turned off his phone and went home to watch Netflix.