So many people center their lives around this feeling- Love. We search for it, we crave it, we need it, and we can’t seem to get enough of it. It’s a drug in itself… the high that we get from it when we feel it is unlike anything else. It can literally be addictive, especially if you don’t feel a lot of love for yourself. Because then you depend on someone else for it.
I know that this was, and I hate to say, sometimes still is the case for me. My parents used love as a form of punishment- if I was good and did what I was supposed to, they loved me. If I did anything wrong, they didn’t. I grew up constantly wondering if (and sometimes wishing that) my parents loved me, and it made me question my self worth and the love of others all the time. Would such-and-such still love me if I didn’t look this way or did something wrong? I never knew. And because I grew up with this love push and pull, it greatly affected the love I had for myself. I tended to base it on how many people loved and cared about me at that time. If I felt a lot of love at any given moment, I felt like I was worth something. If I went even one day without talking to someone and being reassured of this, I felt lost, empty, and helpless.
So why am I writing about this? Why am I starting this blog? Because I want to love myself. Unconditionally. I want to feel secure, and happy. And I want to spread the love to everyone who may, or may not, feel the same way. So maybe I didn’t grow up in the best environment, or have had the best relationships, or even the best friendships. This can all change with self-love. This can change for me by loving myself. And it can change for you too, if you want. We can do this. Come on… let the journey begin.